Shit my friends say

You got killed by a cactus!

Dude, it was fast!

The Sting

Salt in the air
Stings my eyes
The soft carpet sinks
It holds me in place

In the back I see the door
It bangs inside the breeze
The bloody tiles stain the floor
The man is on his knees

Iron singes my nose
The acrid scent uplifting
A morbid clarity unfolding
The sincerity is fitting

Sickly sound squish through my hears
The man is on his face
The crimson trail is on the ground
His thoughts dragged in disgrace

The lock clicks decidedly
The liquid tinkles in reply
For everything there is a place
A place for everyone to die

- Deceitful Void

Ode to the nice guys

Somebody, somewhere, has already said something better than you could say it yourself, so instead of writing out a rant that could be construed as plagiarism, I'll simply post up an essay that contains everything I'm thinking at the moment (and possibly more), and give credit where credit is due.

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003


Original Location

Rituals

When the spiritual teacher and his disciples began their evening meditation, the cat who lived in the monastery made such noise that it distracted them. So the teacher ordered that the cat be tied up during the evening practice. Years later, when the teacher died, the cat continued to be tied up during the meditation session. And when the cat eventually died, another cat was brought to the monastery and tied up. Centuries later, learned descendants of the spiritual teacher wrote scholarly treatises about the religious significance of tying up a cat for meditation practice.

-Depraved Mind

the worst kind of pain

Most don't know the pain to have the one thing you want most be a hundred feet from you. You can sit there, and look at it, and wish it were yours, but you cant reach it. Nor can it come to you. And if you were to go to it, it would be destoyed right in front of you. And if it were to come to you, you would be destroyed. So you sit there. Staring in through the light. It is a pain that I hope i never have to feel again. Its left its scar on my mind, and changed my whole outlook on life. What can you truely do when the whole world is keeping your from what you want.

Red Death

its times like these

its times like these that i truly enjoy metal music the most. when i feel like everything is going the way i want them to and i can concentrate on other things again. When i listen to it, its like i can feel the destruction of those i hate. watching the fruits of brutality in the form of sound. the strums of the guitars is like listening to gunshots of retribution and combat. The drums are like the sounds of war drums in the distance, signaling to the world about whats coming their way. the screams are like my own coming out and unleashing all my hate and aggression out to the world. in my mind i imagin the slaughter of those who stand in my way. their blood on my clothes representing my triumph. yes, i really do love violence, and malvolence. its the only way i know im still alive and no longer dreaming
yes, there really is no feeling like this. the combination of my truimph mixed sweetly with my agression. yes, it really is times like these, that i feel the most alive, and in control of my life.

Red Death

Marilyn Manson speech on violence

I don't know and don't really care what your views on him is, but you should watch this video. The man is a certified genius and makes several valid points in this speech.